From when it all started…
I’ve been busy lately, busy and crazycrazy. Mostly because I’m divorcing. There’s been changes in my outlook, my job, my home and my loves…and the change in my love is the hardest to bear.
We’re getting divorced because we hurt each other. Because domesticity, while chosen freely by us, was presented as the better option economically. Because we need to remain alive, and in each others’ lives. Because its better to let someone go and love them from afar than it is to crush them under your wants and needs.
Anna and Souvarine are no longer a pair, but our relationship has marked us both. Our time together left an indellible tattoo upon our faces, for all to see.
But I wanted to write a little about the ghastly process of our dissolution. Because I’ve found its not like other breakups, its not something many other people understand. For one thing, we can talk. Not much and not without crying, but we can and we do. We have said sorry, and accepted that we are both hurting (doing hurt and being hurt), and that only time will change this.
We both did things that weren’t right, but to wallow in blame isn’t right either.
There is still so much love in my heart.
And now… well, now I know there is no free ride.
