Comments on: Monogamy http://annaaniston.blogsome.com/2006/05/11/monogamy/ adventures of an anarchic anarchista Thu, 28 Aug 2008 14:24:08 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=1.5.1-alpha by: Anna Aniston http://annaaniston.blogsome.com/2006/05/11/monogamy/#comment-221 Thu, 15 Jun 2006 23:36:03 +0100 http://annaaniston.blogsome.com/2006/05/11/monogamy/#comment-221 I have 3 experiences of monogamy (excuse my ex-engineer bulletpoints) 1. When you are so in love that you can't imagine anyone but your partner 2. When you are so in love, but also attracted to someone else. The attraction is secondary, easy to ignore. 3. When the only reason not to be monogamous is that it might destroy an otherwise perfectly good relationship. Number 3 is the one that's problematic for me. When what you want is not what you have, then do you have to deny yourself in order to avoid offending someone? Someone so close to you, who knows all your flaws and whose flaws you know and forgive daily...Is sex, attraction, intimacy so delicate that it must always focus on the one object? I find that the opposite is true - forcing myself to feel for only one person isn't natural. I feel many things for many people. Restricting my feelings makes me wilt. On the other hand, I'm not sure I would like to jump from bed to bed. I also wouldn't like to be someone who has a 'wife' for domestic comfort and a 'mistress' for sexual passion. So I'm not advocating either monogamy or promiscuity. (*death to dual options!!*) But maybe something in between, something more fluid and subject to complex change. Something that doesn't bind. I have 3 experiences of monogamy (excuse my ex-engineer bulletpoints)
1. When you are so in love that you can’t imagine anyone but your partner
2. When you are so in love, but also attracted to someone else. The attraction is secondary, easy to ignore.
3. When the only reason not to be monogamous is that it might destroy an otherwise perfectly good relationship.

Number 3 is the one that’s problematic for me. When what you want is not what you have, then do you have to deny yourself in order to avoid offending someone? Someone so close to you, who knows all your flaws and whose flaws you know and forgive daily…Is sex, attraction, intimacy so delicate that it must always focus on the one object? I find that the opposite is true - forcing myself to feel for only one person isn’t natural. I feel many things for many people. Restricting my feelings makes me wilt.

On the other hand, I’m not sure I would like to jump from bed to bed. I also wouldn’t like to be someone who has a ‘wife’ for domestic comfort and a ‘mistress’ for sexual passion.

So I’m not advocating either monogamy or promiscuity. (death to dual options!!) But maybe something in between, something more fluid and subject to complex change. Something that doesn’t bind.

]]> by: Mr Rocks http://annaaniston.blogsome.com/2006/05/11/monogamy/#comment-220 Thu, 15 Jun 2006 23:08:13 +0100 http://annaaniston.blogsome.com/2006/05/11/monogamy/#comment-220 "Having a carpet being pulled under your feet is a displeasant experience. I reckon humans do fall in love, at which time monogamy exists. The tricky part is when one of the partners doesn't feel like it anymore. How to deal with the other without being too damaging is the kind of ethics everybody needs but nobody knows for sure. But of course, if one's not in love from the beginning, and that's understood, that's not an issue. In this situation, one should obviously fuck their heads off and be happy. And to answer your question, yeah, I am monogamous. When I feel like. And only then. But I do make it clear when I am and when I'm not to all interested parties." “Having a carpet being pulled under your feet is a displeasant
experience. I reckon humans do fall in love, at which time monogamy
exists. The tricky part is when one of the partners doesn’t feel like it
anymore. How to deal with the other without being too damaging is the
kind of ethics everybody needs but nobody knows for sure.

But of course, if one’s not in love from the beginning, and that’s
understood, that’s not an issue. In this situation, one should obviously
fuck their heads off and be happy.

And to answer your question, yeah, I am monogamous. When I feel like.
And only then. But I do make it clear when I am and when I’m not to all
interested parties.”

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